


Enough

by fragilenights



Category: IT - Stephen King
Genre: Bisexual Disaster Richie Tozier, Coming Out, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Pining, Sonia Kaspbrak's A+ Parenting, TW: Homophobia, TW: Slurs, The Hammock (IT)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-23
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2020-12-28 17:42:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21140642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fragilenights/pseuds/fragilenights
Summary: After being harassed in the arcade and being scared to death at the park, Richie Tozier headed to the Losers' clubhouse where he would meet up with his best friend, Eddie Kaspbrak, and admit a secret that he himself had only just come to terms with....Aka the arcade scene/Paul Bunyan scene being followed by another hammock scene where Richie comes out.





	Enough

Richie did not have a good day at the arcade. 

A place that typically brought so much comfort and enjoyment.

Today he met a boy with golden curls that he couldn't help but keep glancing at as the game's screen shined neon colors across his face. 

But then, he let down his guard. He let himself listen to his thoughts. He thought he was so good at tuning out his thoughts about other boys, but in a moment of lapsed judgment, he let himself act on his thoughts. 

So he ran.

He ran from bullies and he ran from himself. 

The venomous "Get the fuck out of here, faggot!" still ringing in his ears. 

Tears streaming down his face as he rushed to a park bench. 

Richie did not have a good day at the park. 

Richie didn't like acknowledging his own sinful attraction, so having others notice it was like a dagger through the heart. 

So he cried and he cried. 

He cried until a deep, manly voice echoed throughout the grassy expanse around him, "Wanna kiss, Richie?"

His head shot up and he was met by the giant wooden figure of a strong man hovering over him.

Then a large cattle prod came barreling down at him. 

He barely dodged it as he hurled himself to the ground, running away from the monstrous Paul Bunyan bust. 

But he tripped and there was no way he could outrun the giant headed towards him. 

So he curled up in a fetal position and repeated to himself that what he was seeing wasn't real. 

And then it was gone.

On his walk, Richie was left to actually think about all of these accusations thrown at him. He always knew he wasn't exactly like the other boys. 

He thought some girls were pretty and he would get butterflies in his stomach from time to time, but sometimes there were boys that evoked this reaction in Richie as well. 

He didn't really understand it, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't fight it. 

He didn't really allow himself _to_ understand it. All he knew was that sometimes girls, like Janet Cleary from math class, would make his heart race and sometimes boys, like the one from the arcade, would make his palms slick with sweat. 

And sometimes he had these feelings for other boys too. 

Sometimes when he would brush hands with Eddie, his skin felt like it was lit on fire. Ignited by the simple touch. 

Sometimes he couldn't help imagining how Eddie's lips felt. How they would feel against his own. 

Sometimes he caught himself being swept away by the scent of Eddie. A mantra of _EddieEddieEddie_ reverberating around his mind. 

But he didn't like thinking about it. 

He didn't want to ruin anything. 

So he typically swallowed the feeling and went about joking. Joking about women and sex in order to portray the manly behavior that he knew he was supposed to have innately.

But it didn't matter because the thoughts were always there, burning a hole in the back of his mind.

Finding the hidden entrance, Richie opened the hatch and made his way down the creaking ladder. Before his eyes could adjust to the dimly lit clubhouse, he heard a squeak followed by a loud sigh. 

"Oh thank fuck. It's only you," a familiar voice said from the worn hammock in the corner. 

Wiping the remnants of tears from his cheeks, Richie mustered the best smile he could and jokingly said, "Wow. Don't act so excited to see me, Spaghetti," as he walked his way over to meet the smaller boy where he sat.

"Shut the fuck up," Eddie quipped even as he moved to allow Richie room to join him in the hammock. 

The two boys fell into a gentle silence as Eddie returned to reading the comic book in his hand until the sniffles of the other boy caught his attention. 

Richie wasn't one to show emotions typically, but when he did he would typically turn to Eddie for comfort. Through all of the talking that typically came from the boy, whenever something was bothering him, he was left with a lack of words. So in these rare times, Eddie would just hold him as he sobbed. They would never talk about it afterwards, but there was a general comfort and understanding that no judgment lied within those gentle moments. 

Eddie could tell this was one of those times when he looked up and met a pair of watery blue eyes. 

Things suddenly shifted from the usual as Eddie noticed the beat red coming from the bloody scrapes on Richie's knees. 

His brow furrowed as he softly and slowly questioned, "Richie, what happened?"

"Bowers, of course."

"But...this time was different...wasn't it?"

_"You assholes didn't tell me your town was full of little fairies!"_

Richie breath caught in his throat and he worked to look anywhere but in Eddie's direction as fear washed over his features. 

_ "Richie fucking Tozier. Are you trying to bone my little cousin?" _

Desperate to ease the other boy's anxieties, Eddie sat up and shifted forward to be closer to Richie and simply said, "Hey. It's okay. You know you can tell me anything."

_"Get the fuck out of here, faggot!"_

With the sudden comment, Richie's eyes once again rose to meet Eddie's and as they softened a switch flipped and Richie broke out into sobs. 

Eddie acted quickly to flip his body so that he was side by side with Richie, holding him tight to ease his shaking form. He just let the boy cry for a while without any further questioning as he carded his fingers through Richie's curls. 

Once his breathing started to even out, Eddie opened his mouth to speak when he was interrupted by an uncharacteristically soft voice. 

"Eddie?"

"Yeah?"

"I...need to tell you something."

"What's up, Rich?"

"Promise me you won't hate me?"

Eddie shook his head in disbelief. "Richie, you know I could never hate you-" but he was interrupted as Richie squeezed his eyes shut, shaking his own head.

"Just-please promise me," Richie asked as he lowered his head and stuck his pinky finger out. 

"Okay, I promise," Eddie sighed and met Richie's hand, intertwining their pinkies together. 

"I-I think I like boys."

The words echoed in Eddie's brain as he recalled all of the horrible things his own mother had told him about boys who liked other boys.

_"They're sick, Eddie-bear. Rotten to the core. If you ever meet one of them... those fairies...just promise me you'll run. Get away as fast as you can."_

But looking at his best friend in his arms, Eddie knew his ma was wrong. Nothing about Richie Tozier could ever be sick or rotten. Even with all of the cuts and bruises scattered over his skin, Richie was made of pure gold. Nothing about this smiling goofball could ever even resemble the monsters that his mother made homosexuals out to be. 

So Eddie decided right then and there, as he laid in a musty hammock under a good foot of dirt, that his ma was wrong. He wasn't sure what all she was wrong about, but he knew for certain that she was wrong about Richie Tozier. 

In the silence that developed as Eddie processed the information spoken to him in soft whispers, Richie head had ducked down as his own heart pounded in his chest.

Tears once again leaked from his eyes as croaked out a plea, "Please don't hate me."

Eddie quickly shook himself out of his thoughts, knowing that any of his current revolations could be put on hold because his best friend needed to be comforted. 

He tightened his grip around Richie's frame, "No, Richie. I could never hate you."

This sudden acceptance lifted a weight off of Richie's chest that he didn't even notice being there in the first place.

So he cried.

Richie Tozier cried harder than he ever had before. 

The tears pouring down his face were fueled by the absolute relief that the world didn't split in two as he uttered the sinful phrase. He cried because even though Eddie was raised to be terrified and disgusted by any abnormality that could possibly result in an unnaturally early death, Eddie didn't care. Eddie didn't care that Richie could be ridden with disease. Eddie didn't care that Richie could be damned to hell. Eddie only cared that Richie was himself, all despite how brainwashed he was from his own mother. 

"I could never hate you," Eddie muttered into Richie's hair as he placed a gentle kiss onto his forehead. 

The comfortable silence that surrounded them as they held each other tightly was all the acceptance and love the two boys could need at the time. 

They had each other and that was enough. 


End file.
